Mystery Dinner
by Sum1cooler
Summary: Everyone is fighting at the Palmwoods. So Logan created a mystery theme game for them to bond over. Who killed Mr. Body? Well, it was not the person everyone expected. K plus to T rating for humor.


I had a lot of fun writing this. This is what happens when I watched "Just Shoot Me" (the funniest comedy ever) and played clue. This is humorous and is similar to my other story, SA where everyone comes together to solve problems, in this case, a mystery.

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><p><strong>Mystery Dinner<strong>

"Why are we here?" Kendall yells, falling down on the ratty, beaten brown couch. The other friends, loitering around the old fashion styled room, groan in deep boredom, wishing that they did not agree to such a lame activity created by the no other nerd, Logan Mitchell.

"This is stupid. I have a gig to practice for." Camille flicks her hair, standing up.

"No, you're stupid!" James flashes an angry scowl at her, pointing his finger.

"Guy, guy!" Logan tries to calm them down. He jumps over a wrapped, mummified body on the floor to the other side of the room, grabbing their booklets of the evening's activity. "Look, we all been fighting a lot. Kendall and James, you guys barely talk to each other." He points to the two boys on the couch. "Carlos and I haven't gone on a date in a long time and I really miss his kisses."

"Well maybe if someone stop parading his high score around, I might give him some." Carlos whines, crossing his arms. Logan sighs, shaking his head before looking at the other three girls.

"Jo and Camille. You girls can't stop arguing about guys and you girls been best friend ever since Jo came to the Palmwoods."

"It's true but she stole my boyfriend." Camille complains harshly.

Jo rolls her eyes. "I didn't steal your boyfriend. He was in the movie I was in and we had a kissing scene."

"Oh yea, you stole the part too!"

"I didn't steal the part! I'm just a better actress!"

"Girls! Stop fighting!" Logan intervenes, jumping between them. After the two calm down a bit, Jo taking a sit on the brown couch with Kendall and James while Camille sits on the opposite side. The room is silent for a minute as Logan expected. "Ok. And Katie is here because Ms. Knight said she needs to stop manipulating people although she probably can find a way to do that with this game too."

"Hey, it's not my fault that most of the people in the Palmwoods are so easy to control." The other six people and the single adult by the door stare at the preteen girl as if she is a murderer. "What?"

"Nothing." They all answer, shaking their head fearfully.

"Ok, since introductions are done." Logan hops over the body again, walking to the door where the adult is standing. "I wanted to make a game for us to bond and I found this in the newspaper, a mystery dinner created by Mr. Body." The man bows his head. "He created the room with an old fashion style and the dead body on the floor. I created the characters for us to follow and the rules. It's going to be a fun game."

"And with that note, I have to leave." Mr. Body adds.

"Wait! How come he gets to leave?" James shoots up from his seat. "I have important things to take care of."

"Well that's a surprise." Kendal scoffs. "As if we do anything exciting at night anymore."

"Shut up Knight! We don't do anything fun anymore because you are a giant turd."

"Ok guys!" Logan yells. "Look, I am trying to help us get closer. We used to be best friends and now we are at each other's throat or in some case not talking to me at all."

Carlos rolls his eyes, knowing that comment is reserved for him. "Katie, can you tell Logan that I don't talk to guys who rub their high score in my face?"

"Tell him yourself."

"Then Camille, can you tell Katie that she is no longer my friend and she is as dead to me as Logan."

"Ok Carlos, I'm sorry for the comment. Can we all just try the game? I put a lot of work in making it and Mr. Body, wait, where is he?" Logan turns around, searching the room.

"The guy left when you were giving a speech." Jo answers. "Which, by the way, was a horrible speech."

"And I thought Kendall gave bad speeches." James adds smugly.

"Wells, it's ok. We don't need him for the game, luckily." Logan throws each person a blue leather booklet. "Let's just try the game, ok? I worked really, really hard on it and I want us to be friends again, please?"

Everyone stares at Logan's begging pout, feeling his guilt. "Fine."

"Yes, good. Everyone, turn to page one and we can read the rules."

"Excuse me." A police officer walks in the room, eying each person individually. "I need to talk to the owner or the man responsible for this."

"That would be Mr. Body sir but he left. I'm second in charge. What do you need?" Logan asks, closing his book.

"Sir, this is an important matter and I need to speak to you in private at the police station down the block."

"Um ok. Guys, just start the game without me. I'll be the remaining character you guys don't want to be. Please have fun." Logan begs one last time before following the officer out of the apartment.

Kendall groans. "Go ahead Katie. Read us the rules."

Katie shrugs her shoulders because she loves reading contacts and rule books. "Someone killed Mr. Body and we are going to figure out who did it. The seven of Mr. Body's closest friends and family members are in the same room as the murder and one of them is the killer. They ultimately decide who the murderer is. So let the game begin. Choose your character before I read the rules."

"Ooo! I call Aaron Body, Mr. Body's son. He wants to be an actor but his father is forcing him to study business." James reads enthusiastically.

"I guess I'll be George Green, Aaron's best friend. He was always jealous of Mr. Body's fortunes and has a gambling addiction." Kendall calls.

"I'll be Courtney Peacock, Mr. Body's fourth wife. I am a stereotypical Catholic southern girl and has a love for young men, especially Mr. Green but being married to Mr. Body, I am not allowed to love the young Green. That is interesting and a bit hard. I don't know how to act like stereotypical Catholic southern woman." Jo states, getting into character.

"Cool!" Katie's eyes brighten up. "I want to be Candy Plum, the neighborhood kid who reported the gun shot in the morning. She was arrested prior for conning adults."

"And I get to be Scarlet Red, Mr. Body's gold digging mistress." Camille says in a sultry, deep voice, batting her eye brows.

"That leaves me and Logan as Colonel Carlos Mustard, Mr. Body's traveling friend who envies Mr. Body's land in the safari and Logan as Mrs. Whitney White, my wife and Mr. Body's crazy, money stealing maid." Carlos concludes, liking his character. "Logan is good at planning games I guess. Everyone has a motive to kill Mr. Body. So who did it?"

"Well, we decide who did it." Katie answers, clearing her throat before reading the rules. "On each page is a dialogue of four people and what they say. What is written is vague so be creative. For example, Green: food, the person playing Mr. Green can say something like 'this buffet is laced with poison. I bet the mistress put poison in her apple pie.' And if your character is not on the page, you can still jump in but make sure what you add will add to the excitement of the game. Each page lasts ten minutes and when you hear a ding from the CD player, turn the page. You may continue your line if you can fit it in after the ding or wait for the ding if you know you can't. Have fun. I guess we should start?"

"This better be a fun game." James threatens, waiting for Katie to turn the player on.

_Ding!_

"Oh, it's me." Jo says, coughing to clear her throat. She pretends to cry. "My oh my. My dearest husband is dead on the floor, bleeding his fried chicken crusted heart away. Y'all know not of my truest love for him."

"Please madam." Camille struts over to her, blowing a puff of smoke from her hand. "He loved me more that he ever loved you. Don't trust me? Check my neck for his bite marks."

"You devil's sprain!"

"Mother!" James yells. "You cannot talk that way to Scarlet. Father would disapprove of it." He dramatizes his line.

"Aaron, butt out or I will slap you with a side of my lard cooked bacon."

"Mrs. Body!" Kendall jumps up in front of his boyfriend. "You can't talk to my boyfriend that way. I would gamble a thousand dollar that Mr. Body would not want you to threaten his son."

"No, but…" Jo walks closer to Kendall, running her hand down his chest. "He would want me to be happy after his death with his son's best friend."

"Madam!" Carlos jumps up. "I will disagree. In the jungle, the mightiest of all jungles, Mr. Body told me that he accepted his son's forbidden love and is disgusted with your pedophilic obsession with Mr. Green."

"Well-"

_Ding!"_

"Well, he's dead!"

"You shot him didn't you?" Katie yells, pointing her finger at Jo. "You're the mean lady who killed Mr. Body before I get to scam him of all his money."

"Please, little city kid." Jo laughs. "I am from the south. I don't need to shoot him. My lard cooked meals are enough to give him a heart attack." She walks closer to Kendall, dangerously playing with his shirt. "Which will let me prey on other boys for my enjoyment."

"Mother!" James pulls Kendall into his arms. "Kendall is my Juliet, my Venus, my geisha-"

"Horrible improv." Kendall coughs.

"Shut up, George. I am announcing my love for the fairest of them all, my Cinderella, my snowest of white, my…"

"Just kiss me! I bet my lucky chip you want to." Kendall seduces, closing the gap.

"How dare you boys!" Jo pushes them onto the couch. "I am a southern Christian. I spit on the devil's creation of homosexuals!"

_Ding!_

"So, are you going to murder your son like you did to my best friend?" Carlos accuses.

"Or did you do it to get Mr. Body's twenty acres of land in Africa?" Jo shoots back.

"No! I didn't kill him." Carlos defends; starting to sweat. "I bet Camille-"

"Scarlet!" Camille rolls her eyes, judging Carlos' lack of acting skills or brain cells.

"Oh, sorry I forgot. I bet Scarlet, the mistress did it!"

"That's preposterous!" Camille yells, stomping her make believe cigar into the ground. "I would never kill the man I love, or the man I love to have countless nights with. If anyone wanted the kill, Candy is my suspect."

"What did I do?" Katie shrieks.

"What didn't you do? You conned Mr. Body of his money. The money he was supposed to pay me for my services!"

"No! Mr. Body gave that money to Mr. Green to pay half of his debts! I bet he killed him for the other half of the money!"

_Ding!_

"Wait Katie! Pause the game!" Kendall commands her to press the stop button. He chuckles and smiles at his friends in the room. "You know, this is pretty fun. I'm glad Logan thought of this." Everyone in the room agrees with smiling faces. "Ok Katie, game on."

…

"What? We are in a murder scene?" Logan yells at the officer in the police station. He wipes his sweaty forehead, turning ghostly white. "You mean the body on the floor is a real dead body?"

The officer nods his head. "Look kid, we are trying to figure out who is the person responsible for the death of old Mr. Body Jenkins. We got a report of someone hearing a gunshot three hours ago from the apartment and with you and your friends there, we believe one of you kids is the killer or as least all of you are suspects in this crime."

"But we are innocent. We didn't do anything." Logan stutters nervously. "Mr. Body, wait… MR. BODY!"

"Who?"

"The guy that offered me the game. He was the one who set up everything up. He got us the room and made the dead body which I know now is a real body. Oh god!" Logan covers his mouth, cursing that he is at fault for getting all of his friends involve with a murder mystery, a real murder mystery.

"Are you certain that this Mr. Body is the killer?"

"Yes! Yes! I am certain he did it." Logan nods rapidly, anxiety taking over his mind. "Mr. Body is the one who killed the guy and he planned the game to make one of us look like the murderer so he can run off."

"It's is plausible, I guess." The cop agrees, rubbing his chin. "Ok, I will send a police down there to check it out."

"Wait sir!" Logan calls, shaking his hand. "Give me ten minutes to get my friends out. Everyone is mad at each other and if they find out this is a real murder scene, they might never become friends again. Please let me get them out."

The police officer sighs, throwing Logan a rusty wrench. "You got ten minutes before I get a police down there. And put this wrench on the floor, I thought I drop my wrench when I went over."

"Thank you, thank you!" Logan jumps out of his seat, stuffing the pocket size wrench in his pant, and runs out."

The adult shakes his head. "Meddling kids."

…

_Ding!_

"Y'all be deaf now! I am the mother, wife of the great Body and I am no murderer!" Jo defends herself. "I love that man-"

"Which one, Mr. Body or his son's friend?" Camille yells.

"Oh don't play smart with me, girlfriend. I am not the home wrecker!" Jo lashes, pushing Camille.

"Girls!" Carlos jump in between them, holding a candlestick. "Peacock, Scarlet. I will beat the both of you in the living room with the candlestick if you both don't stop fighting." The two girls huff and turn away. "This reminds me of the time I went fishing with Mr. Body and-"

"Oh my god! Shut up!" Kendall yells, throwing his lead pipe holding hand in the air. "If I have a dime for every single time you mentioned a story with Mr. Body in god knows where, I would be out of debt."

"It's true." James concurs, swinging a fake gun in his hand. "To be or not to be in debt that is the question."

"Can it, Aaron!" Katie picks up a coil of rope at her side. "If you make one more horrible Shakespeare reference, I will strangle you with my rope!"

"Go ahead Plum." Camille points her dagger at Katie. "Kill the son like you did the father!"

"I did not kill-"

"Guys!" Logan dashes into the room, out of breath. "We have to leave. Someone killed Mr. Body!" Everyone stares at Logan, speechlessly. "I know right! Now let's go!" He commands but everyone remains silent and still. "Guys?"

_Ding!_

"I see my wife has return. Honey, where have you been? I told twenty stories about my adventures in your absences." Carlos walks over giving Logan a kiss on each cheek.

"Carlos, what are you talking about? We have to leave." Logan pushes Carlos off of him. "A policeman is coming in ten minutes to figure out who killed this man. THIS IS REAL!"

"Of course this is real." Katie states, playing with the rope. "I heard the gun shot. Mr. Body is dead and we are figuring out who did."

"That's the thing!" Logan cries. "The police officer thinks it is one of us who killed him and if we are here, the police will arrest one of us!"

"Of course one of us killed my father, Mrs. White." James states the obvious. "That is what we are trying to figure out too. Wait. Where were you?"

"I was at the police station, finding out that that is a real dead body! We have to go!" Logan wails at his happy friends. He turns to Carlos, hoping his boyfriend will listen. "Carlos, please. I love you and if you love me, you will leave with me now."

"Devil's child!" Jo points at Logan with a heavy trophy. "You are trying to escape because you killed Mr. Body!" She accuses. "I bet y'all, Mrs. White killed Mr. Body in the Living with the only other possible weapon, the wrench in her pocket!"

"No! The police told me he took it by accident." Logan threw the weapon on the ground. "I didn't kill him. Mr. Body did it!"

"Blackjack with an ace of spade! How dare you accuse my boyfriend of killing his father?" Kendall pulls James closer, waving his lead pipe at Logan.

Suddenly, a police guard jumps into the room holding a gun. "Police! I am here to arrest the person responsible for the murder of Mr. Body." The room goes silent; no one says a thing. The policeman crooks his head, taking a look of all the strange kids acting in character. "Someone say something."

_Ding!_

"Well, my good man." James starts. "We know who killed Mr. Body."

"Who did it?" The officer lowers his gun, reaching for his handcuffs.

"It was Whitney White!" Katie points at Logan.

"And he did it in the living room as you can see." Camille adds.

"With the wrench." Kendall points to the rusty weapon on the floor. "The wrench has his fingerprints.

"Arrest the devil's child. Take him away!" Jo cries in a high pitch voice.

"No!" Logan yells, struggling with the man tying his waist together. "I didn't do anything. I just wanted us to be friends."

"So you killed my husband for friendship?" Jo cries. "You monster!"

"No! I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Yea, yea. Tell that to a judge!" The cop tries to pull Logan away.

"Wait. Carlos! Carlos! You believe me. You love me." Logan cries, tears fall off his face. "You believe that I am innocent, right."

"Wait!" Carlos walks up to Logan, who is beaming with hope that his boyfriend will save him. But instead, Carlos thrust his lips onto Logan harshly, before slapping him across the face. "In all of my stories in the jungle, desert or at home I never knew you wanted to kill anyone."

"Carlos." Logan whispers, his voice cracking.

"Take him away. I did not marry a murderer!" Carlos waves his hand at the police officer.

The adult crooks his brow, thinking that this is a brunch of crazy, drunk kids. "Whatever. You are under arrest for the first degree murderer of Mr. Body."

"NO! I am innocent I tell you! INNOCENT!" Logan yells repeatedly as he is dragged down the hall.

_Ding!_

"And we are done!" Katie exclaims happily.

"Wow! Logan is the best friend ever." Kendall states. "He got us all closer together with a simple but fun game. We should do this again some time." The other six people nod happily, walking to Kendall for a group hug.

"Don't I have the best boyfriend, or what?" Carlos smugly asks; James pats his helmet clad head and chuckles.

"I'll agree this time, Carlitos only because Logan created such a cool looking dead body. I wonder how he did it."

"Well, let's find out." Kendall says as everyone bunches together leaning over the head. Slowly, the blonde boy pulls off the bandage encasing the whole head, unveiling bit by bit until…

"AHHH!" Everyone screams, jumping behind the old brown couch.

"What the hell is that?" Carlos yells, clutching his chest.

"I think it is a real dead body." James answers, his tan cheek turns as white as his lucky V-neck.

"Oh my god!" Jo and Camille cry, holding each other. "We are in the middle of a real murder mystery!"

"This is not good. This is so bad." Katie complains, stammering her normally calm voice. "What if we are pinned for the murder?"

"Oh god!" Kendall realizes. "We just told the police that Logan is the killer when he came to warn us." Everyone becomes silent.

_Ding!_

Carlos groans, slapping his head. "I got my fake wife arrested and sent my real boyfriend to jail."

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><p>I hope you had fun with the story.<p>

Please review =].


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